Stuff I want but don't need and then we get serious

I am wearing an outfit of questionable composition today. I have on a cropped corduroy Lux jacket with a pink leaf-like print, a creme colored ribbed tank, and plaid pants. It's kind of busy. I think I made a mistake. I don't like to think this happens often, but today it did.

Now I am looking at websites such as the illustrious Forever21.com. Many cute tops, many that I doubt would actually look good or fit if I were to try the actual thing on. So it goes with the Internet, but my eyes feast.

While washing my hands in the office bathroom I considered, "is this kind of a reaction/coping mechanism?" But what am I coping about? I'm not necessarily going through personal sadness. Empathetic sadness? Jim's great-grandmother is in the hospital and it looks bad. Yesterday was pretty emotional for his family, and understandably so. Part of the grief that seemed to overtake me I think had to do with memories of when my grandmother died 10 years ago. The same machine sounds. The difficult breathing. The sight of someone wasting away. And then I worry about my grandfather who just celebrated his 87th birthday. He's taken a downturn the last few years, and I feel sad sometimes thinking how I am so far away and only see him a couple of times each year when it used to be every day.